Don’t look back in anger..

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“Don’t look back in anger…don’t look back in anger I heard you say”

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The photo I took the other day…the face of anticipation, the day of reckoning, the day I would find out if the team at the Walton Centre would agree to me decreasing and weaning off steroids.

I was full of excitment, slight anxiety, and just general wonderment.

So why this song? Why “don’t look back in anger”? Music lyrics often express what we can’t say. I have been angry about my health and health situation, yes I am generally positive but the last 7 months I have experienced plenty of ups and downs.

Don’t look back in anger, it feels like the end to an awful storm. A blip in a short period of time. The mental fog has cleared, I feel happy.

I feel like me.

“You look really well!” S said. “Ahh thank you” I replied gushing.

S and T 2 of the lovely NMO nurses, it was so good too see them. For them to see the difference in me since the NMO UK patients day in April. To just see 2 medical professionals who understand.

The news was good.

Another 6 weeks on azathioprine then to start a steady taper to decrease steroids, and go from there at a certain dose.

So cheers to you NMO.

I am no longer looking back in anger, the calm has come. My mind is no longer racing of what could have been. I hace taken stock that I feel better now than I did this time last year.

C and J have been amazing as usual. Their supoort is amazing.

My family also, my friends, my work mates, my facebook friends, those with NMO.

I also want to thank myself for not giving up. For not giving in.

It’s all going to be ok, don’t look back in anger.

I have let go, finally.

Time to continuing enjoying life.

 

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