I’ll be there for you….

So no one told you life was gonna be this way…

When the rain starts to pour….

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I was talking with a friend the other day and I said about friendship, and how you learn when the shit hits the pan, (sorry mum and dad-lol) who your real friends are.

I am lucky that I have friends so close to me I can’t remember life without them. They are always there, as I am for them and always will be. Tea, coffee, food, gin, wine-I see a pattern here…haha nights out, afternoon teas, mealsĀ  theatre, fun.

I have made new friends since J started school, who also saw me at my worst on school runs and always offered and do offer support, a chat, coffee, play dates, a listening ear.

My work mates who just “get me” who accept me for me my pink hair, loud laugh, converse, quirks and all. My work mates are great, very supportive and very funny.

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I thought I had a group of friends at one time but I realised that if I wasn’t around, I was soon forgotton. I don’t mean seeing them but a comment on facebook, a message doesn’t take long does it?!

Perhaps they had me boxed off as the one who was ill so that was that ans the click was clicked tightly, me being un clicked.

Then…there is facebook and facebook groups…

I am very fortunate dear readers, to have met and spoken to some loveoy people, through clothes groups and also NMO facebook groups. Support online through such sources can be great.

So in life, things happen, people change, things change.

People come and go in life, and those you haven’t seen for some time and thet say “how are you?!” I reply “yeah good thanks, you?”

Why?

I wrote a blog post on this a while ago, but real friends understand when we are not at our best, and others will get the “fine” response.

So…….be yourself…let those go who are no longer there for you…don’t force it…be you…and……

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I am not a happy fat person and I am not a fat happy person…

Hi.

So.

Here we go again.

Body image. Weight loss. Scales. Measurements. Excercise. Bloody steroids.

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Those of you who know me or have met me know what I look like, and my personality.

I cannot remember hand on heart when I said “I look awful I need to lose weight”

Yes I have been…and why? I felt uncomfortable and it wasn’t me in the mirror-it was steroids.

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So.

I am generally a happy person! I am curvy-not fat! Thank you!

I have big boobs, a big bum, big hips, a small waist and a big smile.

I have an even bigger personality and an even louder laugh!

This dear readers is by no means a mask, or a front, or a wall or a shield.

This is who I am!

I see a strong woman who has learnt to walk again-twice now, has regained her sight, and I am bloody proud of her.

I celebrate life by being me!! Living it well!!

So when I see my tummy wobbling around, I remind myself that it is toning up now my back is strong enough to support itself again. That my stomach muscles are no longer straining to keep me up right because my spinal cord is damaged with fluid leisons.

I like quirky fashion and things in general-always have and always will! I am not a jeans n nice top kinda girl!

Again I am just comfy and happy in what I wear.

So.

I am steadily losing weight to ease my joints, to hopefully lower med doses in the future and too feel physically good for ME.

Not because society thinks I should.

So.

I am happy, I am not a fat person.

I am curvy, and happy.