Sooo the old hair had to go…..it felt good…great in fact!! This is ME not brown, sure it did my hair some goid having a bleach break but this is much more me!
“can you hop?” asked Dr. D…”hop?!” “yes” “errmmmmm…..” I did…kind of….kind of….my left leg was oddly better than the right…..
A good examination in Liverpool and a plan of action to start some new medication-more on that another time.
This has been drafted sooooo many times.
Because I only write when I feel inspired too.
Today, something happened that inspired me.
These are from my work mates.
I am not gonna lie, I filled up.
I miss my friends, my job, the structure, I cannot wait to go back…BUT as always with this bloody illness-when I can..when it’s safe too…but I can’t wait.
This last week especially I have been steuggling a bit. One of my old work mates passed away, after a short but awful illness, only in his 40’s. Really awful. Very sad.
I also have found myself obsessing over my weight, which is not like me. I don’t know why…or…do I.
Of course I do.
Bloody steroids. Simple as.
Because (I know that’s not good grammar but it is my blog!), when I look in the mirror I see…sometimes…me when I was on steroids before. I have only been out of hospital for 6 weeks and I am progressing well this is also why. I want to be the Jane I was before I got ill again.
In all sense though, I have 2 more weeks before steroids decrease again, and I need not to be as hard on myself.
The weight will come off, but wanting quick results and fast is not the answer.
I take currently take between 20-25 tablets EVERY DAY if not more depending on pain levels.
On top of that, I am still trying to heal, be a mum, prepare myself mentally to go back to work, do housework, “do normal stuff”, look nice, lose weight, walk properly.
No pressure eh?
So. Tomorrow, and next week, and going forward…no more pressure on myself.
I’m done trying to “look a certain way because I am on steroids”,
So no more fad dieting.
I promise myself now.