The apprentice. Work.
When you laugh and you laugh with friends from work.
When laughter is therapeutic, when you last laughed hard was at work.
When work is therapeutic, when work is mentally stimulating. When you can be yourself at work, as well as the job role, you know you got it.
When the job role is part of you, and not just NMO, when you ARE YOU, yourself, it is incredibly satisfying.
When you laugh harder than you can ever imagine at work-“you know you got it, when it makes you feel good”.
(Bright eyed meeting friends for coffee and a big rest after!!)
So what happens when you find yourself slowly going down hill? Kidding yourself you are ok? That this pain is “normal” that popping ibuprofen and paracetamol regulary is normal?
Surely everybody does this? Don’t they?
When you realise actually….actually….you are not coping physically.
That work is good, home life is good,
my body was not good.
Yes I had started to lose weight-fab….but…oh my god…the pain.
Sorry I keep banging on about this…I had a part in a local panto and was really enjoying it, the laughter and social inreraction was doing me the world of good…until…I had to drop out…devasted. I started not being able to walk properly, steps were an issue, everything was getting to be a problem-physically. The group were very supportive, and accomodating, but I just couldn’t keep up.
The laughter, yes.
C and J new I was struggling. C even said he was worried-and if he was worried, I knew I bloody was.
Fave magazine and flowers off C and J it really did cheer me up, it really really did.
So what happens when you do give in…accept you are not well…that THIS IS HAPPENING.
Cry? Swear? Shout? cry some more? Pray? Ask the universe for help? All of those?
I opted for all of those.
I didn’t want to give in.
Never give in.
Never give up.
Never stop fighting.