A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog post called “let it go” and the power of song lyrics and how I or you can relate to them.
I published it, the next day, read it, and deleted it from my blog.
It was just too raw to read, although a few had read it.
The last few weeks..well..
It’s like riding a wave in a storm…
A few weeks on and now out of hospital, I am revisiting this post.
Several after these were too painful too finish, but at the moment, this seems quite poignoint-if that’s how you spell it…
What I wanted to touch on, was feeling tired, fatigue, pacing yourself.
At the moment, I feel like….like….a salmon trying to swim upstream. That every so often, I can jump a bit further, but then someone decides I look a bit tasty, and I get hooked onto a fishing rod or in a net-stuck.
Trying to explain to someone what NMO is, but then trying to explain how the bloody thing (sorry mum n dad lol), affects you, and let a lone after a sodding relapse, is INCREDIBLY HARD.
I think C hit the nail on the head the other day when he compared it to having a stroke.
You imagine that you go from “being physically normal” and indeed mentally, to find all that will change out of the blue thank you very much and your “normal” activities including bending down to the washing machine now seem damn near impossible.
What do you do when you are so tired you could just fall asleep anywhere, but your little one just wants you to play…
You get a grip. Have a cup of tea and make sure you have taken and take your medication on time.
The photo’s here are real, snapped to show how fatigue can make you feel, so this mummy does need to rest, but, I will NEVER stop fighting this illness.
I have a son. I am a mummy. I am not NMO.